My Last Sight of my Dad

Sons, this was my letter to few of my dear friends, after returning from

hospital at 1:42am 11 Nov 2010.

Not knowing this was my last sight and the last moment I spend with my dad.

Your 'ye-ye' passed away late afternoon 11 Nov.

While I was at workplace, a friend called me from hospital informed me of 'ye-ye'

critical condition.

When I reached hospital, I saw 'Ee-Ee' Cornie crying uncontrollably, and I knew at once,

I was too late........

-------------------------------------------------------

To some of my close friends,

Last 24 hours has been a moment of many reflection of pain, sorrow, love,

forgiveness and hope.

My dad was rush to hospital due to heart failure.

The image of him struggling painfully for his last breath will always be imprinted in my mind the rest

of my life.

All the sorrows and disappointing moments he brought into our lives just disappear, as me and

my sister Connie, stood besides him with tears.

Our hearts, just filled with love and sympathy for dad, who lives most of his second half of his life in

loneliness and solitude.

My dad apologize for his weakness, and failure in carry out his responsibility as father in many ways.

We assure him we don't mind at all, and never hated him. Instead, many little things he done for us

when we were kids, are still very well remembered and appreciated by us.

We told him, how we appreciate him for making breakfast for us, drive us to school, and bought us imported

expensive story books.

He just smile and said, 'this is my responsibility as your father'.

We let him talked to my sister in Johore, Mei, and brother in US, Keat.

The very moment he heard their voice, his lip quiver and tears welled up in his eyes.

Tell me it is not love.

My dad was such a strong, tough and considerate person.

With blood pressure as low as 55, and short of breath, he can still smile and talk to nurse and doctor

who attended him. No sign of fears and worry shown on his face.

It has been his character not to trouble people or make others worry.

And that was the reason why he shouldered all the financial burden alone trying to provide and maintain

our lifestyle until he couldn't make it anymore.

Many people only know and speak of my dad as a failed Christian.

But, they will never know how compassionate, loving, brave and family loving he was before he fell in his

walk with God.

People opinion on him is not important to him anymore.

He has asked forgiveness, repented, and asked God for more time, to be a good testimony, even from now

on the hospital bed.

He is laying on his bed, with peace and calmness on his face.

I just came back from hospital, holding his hand until he fell asleep.

This is one of the most precious moment in my life.

I used to see my dad as a burden to me, for the pass 20 over years.

Now, I realize, this burden has become part of me, and it is very painful and hurt, to cast it away.

God willing, let me continue to carry this burden.

Thank you for your concerns, love and prayers.

Special thank to my wife Liana.

joseph